Obama: The Short Report

Fresh back from the Yellow Brick Road tour, wherein the Faithful gathered to hear Obama stump and Sebelius endorse. My notepad was trampled, left behind in the crush, and my camera did its very best to be uncooperative, with foggy lens and short-lived battery. Maybe standing outside in a howling blizzard for an hour first had something to do with it. Haven't checked the cell-phone pics yet. May be some good crowd shots on it, or press gaggle.

The short report: Obama will give you everything you ever want or need. And a pony! Unless you're rich or Bush, then we're going to eat you because you're evil.

But he had no suggestions as to how to actually pay for giving everybody everything they want. Other than eating the rich. And Bush. (News flash from reality--there aren't nearly enough rich to go around, nor, despite their fecundity, enough Bushes.) At a ballpark guess, tripling the discretionary federal budget would be insufficient to fulfill the promises made. But he shore do talk purty.

The Reader's Digest version of the speech: America needs to come together. Our bitter divisions are everyone else's fault. Especially Bush and the rich. We'll eat them, Obama will wave his magic Hope-Change™ leadership unity wand as we dance around the bloody bonepiles singing Kumbayah, and then we can all have everything we want and live happily ever after.

My invite turned out to be worthless for admission, as they devolved to first come, first served due to crowd size and attempting to crowd the gates to get VIP'd in would have been courting mob action. Fortunately I was there two hours early, which barely got me inside. Call that special "reserved seating" invite a typical liberal promise--worth exactly the paper it was printed on, if only you could scrub the ink out. OK, once I actually got inside it did get me past the guards to a floor seat in the midst of some county-level pols, but with an obstructed view. So I spent an hour networking and lobbying the Dem pols I knew, then surrendered my seat to a young woman with an infant and a True Believer shine to her eyes, and retreated to the balcony for a better view--and a quicker exit.

More later maybe, when I recover.

MORE: My favorite pander was the announcement that seniors earning less than $50K/yr shouldn't have to pay taxes. Gee, isn't $50K/yr plus monthly SS checks enough to place a single person in pretty good shape? What with the heavily subsidized health insurance and all? Does "pay no taxes" mean no SS/Medicare payroll taxes as well? More pony, with cowbell!!!

MORE: To give him his due, I can see how Obama has come far. He's a charismatic speaker with good delivery and excellent pacing. He gets his negative shots out of the way up front quickly, and then spends the rest of his time on building up the warm fuzzies. And he builds very well, lifting the emotion gradually to a crescendo, then going into a short but easy cool-down and then shutting up before he's ridden you into yawning tedium. Good showmanship.

MORE: Lost with my notepad was a listing of all the lead-in music and the timing. The original "plan" was for doors to open at 11:45am, with Obama slated to speak at 12:40. Both the morning news and a text message from one of the organizers clued me that their attempts to keep it sane with invites for floor and RSVP by request for all admission had broken down under load, and it would be first come, first served for admission. Those with RSVP's in hand could still get floor seating, and those with invites could still get into their reserved sections, IF they could get in past the fire marshall. Once capacity was reached, all others would be shuffled off to an overflow facility with video linkage.

So I arrived at 9:45, driving to the campus past Walnut River Tattoos and Young Welders Supply (where do old welders get supplied?), managed a parking space on campus, and got in a line that was at least six or seven hundred people long. It was snowing and the wind was gusting up to 45-50 mph, with wind chill ranging down into subzero. Not being total idiots (Headline: "OBAMA VISITS KANSAS--HUNDREDS DIE OF EXPOSURE!") they opened the doors almost immediately and let people in until the lobby was filled, then started packing them into the balconies. Once the first balcony was filled they opened the doors again. I got in the door about 10:45. Once I was in the building I found a friend there with a local group and had her save me a spot in the balcony, then spotted an acquaintance with the door crew and got passed through to the floor, where I muddled about for an hour networking. About 11:45 (the time the doors were originally supposed to open) I gave up my floor seat to a young mother with a toddler and went up to the balcony.

At 12:20 an advance man named Bobby Schmuck (no, really) came up and gave a very short speech, and then the lead-in music started. First cut was "Celebration". About every fourth tune deviated from uplifting urban pop into uplifting country pop. At 1:00 the music began to loop back to "Celebration" and a local party activist came out to give the intro. She told us how her son was a 20-year military vet being treated for PTSD and had been homeless after getting back from the gulf and it was all Evil Bush's fault that her 18-yr-old grandson was worried about his daddy. It was a tale that roused the crowd, and raised some mathematical questions in my mind, as from my vantage she appeared to be fiftyish. Whatever. It was somewhat apparent to me that Sebelius was running late and thus couldn't give the endorsement/intro, so this lady got subbed in as the natives were getting restless.

Obama came out at 1:05 and delivered his 37 minute speech. Substance (or lack thereof) reported above, and heavily edited excerpts of his speech and Sebelius' endorsement speech can be found here. I could compare it to the speeches already available on Obama TV, but seriously, if you expect me to sit through those for a line-by-line you're nuts. He wrapped his speech to another standing ovation and started working the front lines (gee, I missed my handshake/camera appearance opportunity by leaving the floor) while the brighter crowd members made for the exits. I made it to my car and managed to get out ahead of the crush. Several people tried to ram my vehicle while driving like idiots, and the lack of intelligence displayed among the drivers fleeing the location was such that I stopped at the local bookstore/coffee hut for a breather before getting onto the highway.

I'm intentionally leaving out some details regarding security and little things such as how I knew when Elvis Obama was in the building. Let's just say security was unobtrusive but very present and professional.